Background (Chapter 2)

  I'm not feeling well today so I'm trying to take it easy. Seemed like a good day to sit in front of the computer and write Chapter 2. Travel with me now back to the morning of February 28, 2009....

   Sometime around three or four am I woke up with stomach pain. It wasn't very painful and I thought it was just the typical gas pains that I get late in my pregnancies. I was scheduled to work that morning so I just rolled over, hoping to get a couple hours more sleep. At 5:30 I got up for work. When I stood up I felt the blood. I went to the restroom, I suppose to verify that it was indeed blood. I was strangely calm. I opened the bathroom door, asked for a towel, and told my husband to get ready because we were going to the hospital. Perhaps I didn't want him to panic, or maybe my base survival instincts kicked in, but I just remember being so "matter of fact" about it all. As if we were headed to the grocery store.

  When we got to the hospital they sent us straight back to maternity. I told the triage nurse that I was bleeding. She very calmly gave me the paper clothes (you all know what I'm talking about lol) and said "Let's see how much blood there really is." When she saw she said "Wow. We need to get her into surgery right away." That was right about when I entered panic mode. If the nurse is scared you'd better believe the patient is. I can remember as they were prepping me there was a scheduled c-section patient complaining because she was getting bumped. I'm normally a very sympathetic person but I wanted to scream at her insensitivity. Although even at that point I didn't realize how much danger Teegan and I were in. I mean, it's 2009, people don't die in childbirth anymore...right?

  That was my first (and only) experience under general anesthesia. I remember her telling me she was going to start counting backwards from 10. I never even heard her say "10". When I woke up they called the pediatrician in. She told me that Teegan wasn't breathing as well as they wanted him to, so they were transferring him to a hospital with a NICU. So I had to spend the next hour in recovery, alone with that knowledge. I can't imagine what my husband was going through during my c-section. Alone in the waiting room, waiting for someone to tell him something, anything about his wife and son.

  They took me to my room in time for me to see Teegan before they transferred him out. My first moment with my baby lasted just a couple minutes. I couldn't hold him. He was intubated. The transfer team was already there. They held his transfer so that I would have a chance to see him before he left. Mercifully the hospital staff put me in a room with another mother whose baby was transferred out. I don't know how I would have handled having to share a room with a perfectly healthy baby. Sometimes our human emotions can be quite unfair. Like I was somewhat jealous that Will was able to see Teegan and I couldn't. It was totally unfair to him, and of course I wanted Will to see him, but it still stung a little that I was stuck in the hospital for three days.

  Turns out my placenta had torn away from the uterine wall. Hence all the blood. In case you didn't know, when that happens the baby starts to lose it's source of oxygen. When my OB came around the next day he said "You were very lucky." Those four words are what made me realize that Teegan and I actually could have died. I never considered that could happen in this age of modern medicine. Revisiting that day has reminded me how truly blessed we are. Life with Teegan is challenging no doubt. But I thank God that he is still here. I can hold him and hug him and pinch his cute little cheeks.

  Well, I think I'm going to wrap up the "background blogs". I have all these ideas floating around in my head, subjects I want to address. There is still one particular day in our life that I will be revisiting. I just don't think I'm ready to go back there yet. So for now I'm going to go hold my little angel. You all have a great day!